Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
