Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize