Im at strip club and am horny
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
