I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
