i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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