How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
