You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
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