Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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