those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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