I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
