someone get that fucking seahorse.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
