Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize