She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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