thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
