remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize