How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
