.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
