oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
