adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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