he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize