i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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