Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
