Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
