somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My Sexting was not on an AP level
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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