I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
