question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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