Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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