Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
well you can't waste a boner
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
