Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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