Sponge bath it is.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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