I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
