windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
