k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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