One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
