when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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