I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
