so explain again why im purple
no
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
