Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize