Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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