If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
