...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
