Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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