I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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