If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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