He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Shame is for Republicans.
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