Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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