if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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