put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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