Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize