I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
