I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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