yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
