I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize