Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
