The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
