gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
